Edward's New Moon
by xXx.Free.Again.Topaz.xXx
Summary: New Moon completely from Edward Cullen's point of view.
1. Chapter 1: Birthday

**Disclaimer: **All characters, references, quotes, and all things related to the _Twilight_ universe are the property of Stephenie Meyer. Seriously, if I **_did _**own New Moon, a book that's sold millions of copies in over 75 different languages...would I post it on FanFiction? I think not.

**Chapter 1: Birthday**

_She'll be here soon_, Alice thought, and bounced on her toes excitedly. On yet another dreary day, we stood in the parking lot of Forks High School, waiting to start school so we could sit through yet another set of boring class. They were all the same. And most of the time my family and I knew more than the teachers themselves did. I found it quite amusing sometimes. Other times I found it to be an extremely irksome waste of time.

I didn't share the excitement of graduating that the other seniors in the school did, probably because I'd already done it a dozen times. This year was different, though, for one reason, or one person I should say.

She'd turned my entire existence upside down when she'd come to Forks, unaffected by the fear my kind inspired in other humans. They were supposed to fear me, run away screaming for there lives. Shy away from us. They were not supposed to like us, want to be with us. And definitely were not supposed to love us. Instead of screaming and running from me, a monster. she was inconceivably drawn to me. Not running away when she should have. She did not run like I expected, then again she never did anything I expected her to. Even when she found out what I was. Her calm response to me being a vampire still stunned me. The words still echoed in my mind, "It doesn't matter."

She was my life now, the only reason for existing. My one true love. With out her my life would be empty. I had lived for almost ninety years, and never truly realized till I met her, that my existence was nothing without her. I didn't truly start living until I met her. Bella swan had changed me in ways I didn't think possible. Bella had changed my life, for the better.

Alice was excited, more bouncy than usually. I could barely listen to the words echoing in her head. It was all a big jumbled mess. A buzz in my mind as she went over all the plans she had made. Checking and double checking everything.

"Your giving me a headache. Besides, Bella doesn't even like birthdays. If she doesn't want this than you shouldn't push her." I warned. I didn't want to admit it but I was probably as bouncy as Alice. Only for different reasons. Bella hated today, she wished it would never come. She hated her own birthday with a passion. _Eighteen isn't all that old_ I thought.

I heard Bella's ancient loud truck coming. I wish she would let me get her a new car, a more sensible one. That thing could be an antique. I'm surprised it even runs.

Alice got even more excited when she heard it. "Just a few more minutes." she said.

I sighed.

The parking lot was filling up as more and more people arrived. I tried to tune out the workings of the human minds, buzzing around. They were all mundane.

Jessica's mind was the loudest. I hated her thoughts, she was so self-absorbed and had no imagination. This morning Still stuck on him, even though he rejected her. She was still living in denial, desperately hoping he would change his mind, he was secretly in love with her. Waiting to strike, and make his move. Her hopes were in vain though. His mind however I hated the most. It was almost always on Bella. Completely oblivious to Jessica's watchful eyes.

"Crap. Was that biology assignment due today?" Mike was asking Tyler. He was truly an idiot. He'd probably forget his own head if it wasn't attached to his body. Not that I would have a problem with detaching it for him.

He had no idea how lucky he was. How many times I wanted to murder him whenever his thoughts went to Bella. My Bella, how pretty she was, how cute she was. How he considered me lower than him, he couldn't put his head around the fact she wanted me. I fantasized about killing him in every excruciating, very violent way I could think up. And I could think of plenty.

I had restraint though. Mainly because I knew if I had, Bella not only would be very upset, my family and I would have to move again. Would Bella follow? Would she come with me? Leaving Charlie? I didn't want to think about it. I didn't want to consider leaving her. It was to hard.

_I hear her truck_. I heard Newton thinking.

I growled lowly.

All my attempts to keep her away from him were successful. That is, until she had to go and get a job at Newton's outfitters.

She needed money. And wouldn't except any from me. Even though she knew I had more money at hand than she would make in a million summers at Newton's.

She was too proud to take anything from me. Unless forced upon her.

She wanted me to not trick her into getting money from me or finding it anywhere. "Like I would do such a thing", I remember replying. But the both of us knew I would. I grinned at the thought.

I tried persuading her in other ways. More of seducing her to stay with me. She told me to stay with my family spend some time with my brothers. She knew they wanted to have more time with me, go hunting like we used to, wrestle and fight. She just knew everything she saw everything. She was more observant than anyone I had ever met.

Then there was Charlie. Charlie wanted her to get a job, told her it would be a good idea. I knew the main reason behind it. He wanted her to have less time with me. He had been trying to find ways to get us apart for some time now. Especially after the incident in phoenix left his daughter battered and broken.

He had been less understanding and less friendly than usual. Anger and the thought of shooting me and burying me in the yard entered his mind every time I was around. He knew Mike had a thing for Bella, he thought he was better suited for her than I was. Anyone was better than me in his eyes.

I even tried guilt tripping her, it did nothing but make me angry from her response.

"Bella, don't you want to spend time with me?" I had replied.

"Of course, but I need to work also. Edward, working is a human thing. Humans have been doing it for centuries." she smirked at me. "But things _could_ change." She smiled.

That made a low growl escape. She was so angry. She was so eager to become undead, become a monster. It was unnatural. No one should want this. But yet her she was, beautiful innocent Bella. Wishing for death. Immortality.

I refused to damn my angel. I refused to steal her humanity, and she refused to accept it.

We were at an impasse. It always went the same, never ending, I wouldn't damn her to my existence, and she wouldn't take no for an answer. It was our one and only argument.

So much trouble just so Bella could earn a minimum wage. Of all the human activities for her to insist on… and then to fight so hard against celebrating the most human of all events, her eighteenth birthday. Backwards. Of course. Always backwards. Bella never did anything easy way.

As Bella pulled into her parking place, Alice spun the present like a top on the tip of her finger.

"You know how Bella is about gifts, so I wouldn't expect her to be happy, assuming you even get her to open it." Every time I'd given her anything, even just a nice dinner out, she'd sulked and complained, not wanting to allow herself or me any enjoyment. She had so little in the way of material things and I had so much, why wouldn't she let me share some of that abundance with her? It was ludicrous. She was too proud. Too independent.

I wasn't going to let her sulk on her birthday. I wasn't going to allow her to just let this day pass as if it means nothing. Just another ordinary day. Alice was all too excited and willing to help me. She arranged a party for Bella. I wouldn't let her forget her birthday. Eighteen, what I wouldn't give to reach it. I sighed.

Alice had barely let Bella put the truck into park before going to meet her.

"Happy birthday, Bella!" Alice called.

"Shh!" Bella ducked, as if to hide behind the collar of her jacket.

"Do you want to open your present now or later?"

"No presents," Bella groaned, and I smiled. Even Alice couldn't sway my stubborn Bella.

"Okay," Alice said sadly, "later, then. Did you like the scrapbook your mom sent you? And the camera from Charlie?"

"Yeah. They're great." Bella seemed slump down even further.

"I think it's a nice idea. You're only a senior once. Might as well document the experience." …_the first time_… Alice added for my benefit, remembering her vision of Bella with a newborn vampire's flaming red eyes.

"Not today, Alice," I whispered too low and quickly for Bella to notice.

"How many times have you been a senior?" Bella argued, unaware of the exchange between us.

"That's different," Alice said.

Bella's eyes tightened, and I reached out to her before she could respond. Her face softened as she turned to me, smiling.

Though I'd only left Bella's side a few hours ago, I was already anxious to see her again. I was like an addict, and she was my addiction.

Even if it was for a mere hour, it felt like a year away from her. Agony and longing overwhelmed me whenever she wasn't by my side.

My perception of time was just one of the many ways that Bella had changed me in the eight short months I'd known her.

I smiled down at her. Her eyes were glowing with love and affection only for me. I loved her face, I could get lost in her eyes. She only saw me, and what she saw was someone I couldn't see. She didn't see me the way I saw myself. That still amazed me.

She didn't seem to comprehend that she dazzled me just as often as I dazzled her.

_Happy Birthday, beautiful_, I thought, but didn't voice it. She had made me promise. Which was ridiculous I thought. "So, as discussed, I am not allowed to wish you a happy birthday, is that correct?" I said, tracing her lips with my finger, hoping that she felt the same electric pleasure in my touch that I felt in her balmy, supple skin.

"Yes, that is correct," she said formally.

"Just checking. You might have changed your mind. Most people seem to enjoy things like birthdays and gifts."

Alice laughed. "Of course you'll enjoy it." She tried to look ahead into Bella's future, but could only see me trying to coax my love to get out of her truck in front of our house after school. Until Bella decided she would attend her own birthday party, the future was a mystery.

"Everyone is supposed to be nice to you today and give you your way, Bella. What's the worst that could happen?" I barely kept my smile in place. Bella was all too familiar with 'the worst.' And with her luck…

"Getting older," Bella grumbled, and I couldn't help but press my lips together. So much for trying to avoid that very tedious argument.

"Eighteen isn't very old. Don't women usually wait until they're twenty-nine to get upset over birthdays?" Alice smiled.

"It's older than Edward," Bella said sadly. I exhaled loudly, wishing that Bella could understand how much I desired to stay older than her – to grow old with her. How she was the fortunate one.

"Technically, just by one little year, though.". Alice paused. "What time will you be at the house?"

Bella tensed again, and her grip on my hand tightened. "I didn't know I had plans to be there."

The vision of Bella refusing to attend her party got clearer in Alice's mind and I groaned mentally.

Alice did not accept this future either, and fought furiously to change it. "Oh, be fair, Bella! You aren't going to ruin all our fun like that, are you?"

"I thought my birthday was about what I want," Bella snapped.

"I'll get her from Charlie's right after school," I said trying to calm the situation.

"I have to work," Bella said smugly.

"You don't, actually," Alice replied. Bella's face went red again. "I already spoke to Mrs. Newton about it. She's trading your shifts. She said to tell you to have a nice birthday."

"I—I still can't come over. I, well, I haven't watched Romeo and Juliet yet for English."

"You have Romeo and Juliet memorized."

The protesting continued, "But Mr. Berty said we needed to see it performed to fully appreciate it-that's how Shakespeare intended it to be presented."

I rolled my eyes. Bella could be so stubborn when she put her mind to it. I stayed quiet as I let Alice deal with her. Deciding to stay neutral in this discuss until I had to butt in.

_Coward._

I turned to glare at Alice but she was already continuing to make her point with Bella, "You've already seen the movie."

"But not the nineteen-sixty version. Mr. Berty said it was the best."

_I am going to get her there even if I have to gag her and drag her there by her hair._ Alice's thoughts rang out as she lost her smug smile and glared at Bella.

"This can be easy, or this can be hard, Bella, but one way or another…" The image of Alice dragging a kicking and screaming Bella through the forest was an unwelcome sight in my mind.

"Relax, Alice. If Bella wants to watch a movie, then she can. It's her birthday." Alice pursed her lips.

_Don't you dare side with her – you want this as much as I do, I know it._

"So there," Bella said. I almost expected her to stick out her tongue.

"I'll bring her over around seven. That will give you more time to set up."

Alice looked into the future and saw Bella and me walking calmly up the steps of my home, and brightened. "Sounds good. See you tonight, Bella! It'll be fun, you'll see." She jumped up and gave my cheek a feather's kiss before dashing off to class.

Bella sulked, having lost the chance to argue further. "Edward, please—" but I gently laid my finger over her mouth.

"Let's discuss it later. We're going to be late for class."

**A/N: In later chapters Edward's thoughts may seem a little OOC but I think that's mainly because Bella over idealized Edward so much that he seems completely flawless to anyone reading something from her point of view. I wanted to take a dive into Edward's mind and see all the conflict and confusion of his thoughts. I'll _try _my best to stick to cannon as for as the conversations and occurrences in New Moon but I'll have to get a little creative with this one because of the fact that it's Edward's POV. I'd like to give more detail of what Edward was up to when he and Bella were separated. Also, with Edward reading minds and all, there were things that wouldn't have shown up in Bella's POV because Bella never heard them.**


	2. Chapter 2: Party

**Disclaimer: All characters, qoutes, and occurrences are the property of the author. Blah Blah Blah...was there even a point telling you that when you had to have already known?**

**Chapter 2: Party**

I watched as the clock ticked slowly by. Boredom was inevitable when you had been through the same class over and over again, and already knew more than the teachers about the subject they were teaching.

This school year was different from any other I'd experienced though.

Purgatory wasn't nearly so bad when an angel escorted you through it. We shared most of our classes, and though the material was a complete waste, learning about Bella was the education I most desired. In classroom situations her reactions were slightly more normal, more predictable, but she still surprised me with her knowledge and unique point of view. She never reacted the way I'd expect her to. She never did anything the easy way, or the way I thought she would. She was like one big surprise after another, and I loved every second of it.

Every day brought a new insight into her being, and for once I actually enjoyed school. I didn't care much for the such periods of time when we weren't together though. During these times I thought about the future, and thinking about the future meant I had to be at least a little realistic. And reality for me wasn't all that picture perfect.

Bella was mine, the angel loved the demon. Though I still felt uncertain about all that had happened to us. About how I had almost lost her to James. How she had almost died because of me, and what I am.

She would always be the fragile human Bella, I would not change that. With that, she would always be in harms way. Whether it be on her own, or not. It kept eating away at me every time I saw that crescent moon shaped scar on her hand. I became infuriated each time I looked into Bella's warm, brown eyes and realized that I had almost lost her. The rage wasn't completely directed at James, but also at myself. I had been the one to put her in that danger; if I had more self-control, I would have been able to leave Bella alone. Now all I could do was try to protect her and hope nothing else would happen. With Bella's luck, I knew it was only a matter of time before the next disaster struck. I promised myself that if it had anything to do with me I would find the strength to leave her.

But could I leave her? Could I leave my angel. Live with out her? No. I couldn't exist in a world where Bella did not. But I hoped I would be able to exist with the knowledge that at least she was alive and safe. And when she is no longer living-I cringed visibly at the thought-I would find a way to end my pathetic excuse for a life.

I was glad when the bell rang and distracted me from my unpleasent thoughts. I headed to the gym so I could escort Bella out toward her ancient truck. The school day had gone by rather quickly, it always did when Bella was by my side.

I sighed, knowing the rest of the afternoon would be spent fending off her attempts to avoid her party, not the most appealing of tasks.

I hoped that Alice's vision was still the same and that Bella would agree to attending. Willingly.

_Seven o'clock, Edward, don't forget._ Alice's thoughts reminded me as she sped out of the school parking lot in my Volvo. Like I could forget. Perfect memory was yet another curse for the vampire. I had always thought of myself as cursed. Nothing worth well anything. Eternal damnation. Not meant for heaven and to vicious for hell.

The resistance started when we reached Bella's truck and I opened the passenger door, as I did every day.

"It's my birthday, don't I get to drive?" Bella demanded.

"I'm pretending it's not your birthday, just as you wished." I grinned.

"If it's not my birthday, then I don't have to go to your house tonight…" And Alice would rip me to pieces.

"All right." I'd rather stand Bella's ridiculously slow driving than feel Alice's wrath, so I went around and opened the driver's door instead. "Happy Birthday."

Her face twisted into a grimace. "Shh," she hissed weakly before getting in.

I watched as she pulled out of her parking spot and we were on our way.

Time to fulfill the role I had to play for Emmett's benefit. I fiddled with her ancient radio, not surprised that static was the most I could get out of it. I shook my head, selling my dissatisfaction.

"Your radio has horrible reception." When I criticized the stereo, Bella didn't respond to well to my comment .

"You want a nice stereo? Drive your own car." Her words were so rarely sharp with me that I was caught off guard. Such ferocity from such a gentle creature. The thought almost made me laugh out loud. It was funny, she could be such a spunky one, but yet she was so fragile. And always so stubborn.

I didn't want her to be in an angry mood.

I turned and put my hands around her face, pulling her slightly closer to me. Her scent hit me like a semi truck. Making my throat feel as if it were on fire. The sensation that used to be pain merely faded to pleasure. The memory of it all, her scent, her skin, her touch, her plump, pink lips. Her tongue caressing mine, all fueled the fire that now engulfed my entire being. Tempting me on a daily basis.

I leaned in closer to her.

"You should be in a good mood, today of all days," I said softly, purposely letting my breath waft toward her. The effect was immediate, and Bella's pulse jumped.

"And if I don't want to be in a good mood?" she asked weakly. A smile grew on my lips as I devoured her with my eyes. Her eyes grew wide, and though I was trying to dazzle her, I was the one who stopped breathing. Even though I never needed to, it was still a shock every time she looked at me a certain way. A vampire being dazzled by a human. The thought was amusing.

"Too bad," I whispered. Slowly I bent down and gently pressed my lips to hers.

She was always so warm. Her lips, the warmth was an extra sensation.

The monster roared loudly in me, but it wasn't the monster that I was most afraid of. It was a different kind. One that desired Bella, and not in the sense that I wanted her blood. I wanted her body. Excitement, like an electric pulse went through me. My breathing finally started again.

The burning desire in her kiss had barley registered to me before she wove her hands around my neck. Her scent got stronger as she pressed herself more tightly against me. I smiled. It still stunned me that I could get such a reaction from her.

She had no idea how hard it was to resist, say no to not only her desires, but mine also. She had no idea how it felt, how much it killed me having to stop. But I knew that if it went too far, became too pleasurable I would loose it, make a mistake, and she would get hurt or worse.

She trusted my control. She trusted me. Trusted that I wouldn't do anything to hurt her. And of course I wouldn't, not intentionally. But all I had to do was stop concentrating on not killing her for just one second, and her life would be extinguished. She trusted my control, and tested it often.

She tested it, not knowing the fire she fueled within me that I'd thought had long since been extinguished. I'd always considered humans weak, shallow creatures compared to vampires, but the human feelings Bella made me feel, the sensations that she had awakened in me were stronger even than the most powerful vampire thirst.

She called to me in that way, more than her blood did. And she didn't even know it. I wondered if she knew, if she would continue to try to test my self-control.

It saddened me, how I wanted to return her passion, her desire. Not only tell her how much I loved her, but show her. Show her exactly how much she meant to me, how she made me feel. But it was impossible. She was fragile, breakable, she was human. I couldn't allow my self to even the slightest lapse in judgment. I would loose my control, and injure her, kill her, or worse, poison her and make her one of the eternally damned.

I slowly and gently pulled away. Peeling her hands from my body with ease. I felt her pulse thumping like a humming bird's in my hands.

"Be good, please," I sighed. She sat perfectly still, and I kissed her gently. I let her go and she put her hands on her chest.

"Do you think I'll ever get better at this?" she said, not looking at me. "That my heart might someday stop trying to jump out of my chest whenever you touch me?"

"I really hope not," I snickered. Her heart was not only the core of her humanity, it was also one of the few windows I had into her thoughts. The way her pulse reacted to my closeness, my touch, even my words was something to be protected almost as much as her life.

"Let's go watch the Capulets and Montague's hack each other up, all right?"

"Your wish, my command."

Once inside, I settled on the old couch in front of the TV, savoring the lingering taste of her kiss. She started the tape, and I pulled her against me gently, breathless as she settled her soft, warm back against my chest.

As I covered her with a blanket off the couch, my curiosity got the best of me. "You know, I've never had much patience with Romeo." I'd seen _Romeo and Juliet_ performed in every conceivable way and in more languages than I could count. I couldn't help but wonder why she loved it so.

"What's wrong with Romeo?" she said, clearly distressed.

Romeo was so impulsive, so thoughtless in his dealings, and I was unable to relate to him at all. Bella seemed to take offense at my criticism. How I wished for oh the millionth time that I could read her mind.

"Well, first of all, he's in love with this Rosaline. Don't you think it makes him seem a little fickle? And then, a few minutes after their wedding, he kills Juliet's cousin. That's not very brilliant." Surely she could see Romeo's copious flaws. "Mistake after mistake. Could he have destroyed his happiness any more thoroughly?"

The opening previews ended "Do you want me to watch this alone?"

"No, I'll mostly be watching you, anyway." The delicate softness of her arm became the center of my attention. Goosebumps rose on her creamy skin at my touch, and I cursed my frigid body temperature. "Will you cry?" I asked, remembering the sweet flavor of her tears.

"Probably, if I'm paying attention," she said, her eyes on the screen.

"Then I won't distract you." I gently ran my fingertips up and down her arm, and turned my attention to the story on the TV. Romeo confessed his adoration of Juliet, I found myself finding new meaning in his words, and began reciting them along with the actor.

Bella shivered in my arms as I whispered in her ear, softly echoing the words coming from the television.

I continued to speak Romeo's lines, with every word Bella snuggled more into my chest.

Finally we reached the pivotal moment, when Juliet finds her love, dead. Bella didn't speak Juliet's lines aloud, but her lips moved synchronously with those of the actress.

As Juliet kissed Romeo, hoping to die with him, the tears streamed down Bella's cheeks. My lips found her hair, needing to ease her sadness, even if it was imagined. Her crying did not relent, and I tried a different distraction.

"I'll admit, I do sort of envy him here," I said, remembering Romeo tipping the poison into his mouth and succumbing in seconds. My mouth was always full of poison, and yet I sat unaffected. Gently I brushed her tears away with a lock of her chestnut hair.

"She's very pretty." Bella said in a sour tone.

I nearly choked at her words. She thought I found this actress appealing when I had perfection in my arms? I scowled. "I don't envy him the girl, just the ease of the suicide." I continued to tease her. Without thinking I continued. "You humans have it so easy! All you have to do is throw down one tiny vial of plant extracts…"

"What?" Bella exclaimed, with a gasp.

She honestly didn't realize or understand the depth of my love for her. How my life was inexcusably and undoubtedly connected to hers. I could only exist of she existed. If she lived then I would still walk this earth, but once she was gone, I would find away to end my so called life.

"It's something I had to think about once, and I knew from Carlisle's experience that it wouldn't be simple. I'm not even sure how many ways Carlisle tried to kill himself in the beginning… after he realized what he'd become…" I paused.

In my head I ticked off Carlisle's failed suicide attempts. Starvation, throwing himself off cliffs, biting himself, drowning… it was a very long list and yet Carlisle was still in perfect health. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Bella shaking her head, trying to grasp what I meant.

Maybe I could also sway her away from her desire to become immortal if she realized how inescapable our curse was.

As I gazed at her profile, I could see the distressed look on her face, and I softened my tone. "And he's clearly still in excellent health." It'd been wrong for me to disclose my plans, I could see that now.

She wiggled in my arms, finding my eyes with her own. "What are you talking about? What do you mean, this was something you had to think about once?" Anger colored her words.

"Last spring, when you were nearly… killed…" My mind returned to the moment I saw her, lying broken in a pool of her own blood. A lump appeared in my throat, preventing speech for a split second. I kept myself from letting the growl escape from my throat. "Of course I was trying to focus on finding you alive, but another part of my mind was making contingency plans." I remembered that terrible race through Phoenix, the torture of not knowing if she still lived, and how I'd realized that my life would end when hers did. "Like I said, it's not as easy for me as it is for a human."

I could see the memories pass through Bella's face as clearly as if I could read her mind, and I mentally cursed myself for bringing such pain back to her. She unthinkingly touched the scar James left on her palm. I watched her expression changed from fear, to pain, and back to anger as she considered my words. "Contingency plans?" she repeated flatly.

"Well, I wasn't going to live without you," I said, frustrated that I had to spell it out so bluntly. She should understand this easily. Surely that was obvious to her. I'd told her I loved her so many times.

"But I wasn't sure how to do it…I knew Emmett and Jasper would never help…so I was thinking maybe I would go to Italy and do something to provoke the Volturi." I sighed.

The Volturi had more than enough power to quickly end my existence. Carlisle had seen their dominance firsthand centuries ago, and since then their strength had only grown. I would be but an annoyance, extinguished as easily as a candle. I would have exposed the one thing they protect, our secret.

Bella broke my reverie loudly. "What is a Volturi?" she nearly screamed.

"The Volturi are a family." Coven is more descriptive they had no emotional ties as our family did but family was a description she could relate to. "A very old, powerful family of our kind. They are the closest thing our world has to a royal family, I suppose. Carlisle lived with them briefly in his early years, in Italy, before he settled in America—do you remember the story?" I told her, explained, and carefully editing details about them that I'm sure would shock or horrify her. Like Jane's power for example.

"Of course I remember," she snapped. Her eyes drifted to my shoulder, no doubt reviewing the lesson I gave her in Carlisle's office.

"Anyway, you don't irritate the Volturi. Not unless you want to die or whatever it is we do." Death was not the correct term, but again, it would suffice for her.

Her gaze returned to mine, and her expression of anger transmuted to terror. She cradled my face in her hands as she spoke, obviously in earnest that I hear her.

"You must never, never, never think of anything like that again!" she stated. So caring.

"I'll never put you in danger again, so it's a moot point." This promise I made to her, and to myself.

"_Put me_ in danger! I thought we'd established that all my bad luck is my fault? How dare you even think like that?" Her voice grew louder with anger.

Of course I'd put her in danger. The day I gave up trying to stay away from her.

Her being a danger magnet may have made my decision easier, but It was still my decision. I've known since day one that the right thing to do was for me to leave her alone, leaver her live a human life. But I couldn't, I wasn't strong enough to leave her. I loved her too much.

She needed my protection after all, being a danger magnet.

I hoped she could see it from my perspective.

"What would you do, if the situation were reversed?"

"That's not the same thing," she replied quickly. I waited. "What if something did happen to you? Would you want me to go off myself?"

In a rush, the image of Romeo's lifeless body was replaced by my own, and Bella sobbed over me. This was a scenario I hadn't considered.

I watched the scene unfold in my mind, Bella 'offing' herself as she so casually put it. Because I was dead. She would die some day regardless, she was human after all.

I wouldn't condemn her to the hell of an eternity alone.

I could see it from her point of view though. Living longer than me, as if it was possible.

"I guess I see your point…a little. But what would I do without you?" In my mind, Romeo now leaned over his dead Juliet, matching the way I'd knelt over Bella's bloody body in Arizona. I held my breath, just as I had then, the burn incinerating not only my throat but everything inside my chest as well.

"Whatever you were doing before I came along and complicated your existence," she said as if it were obvious.

I sighed, knowing with certainty that she couldn't understand how it was her life, her love, that was the only purpose for my existence.

Before I was just searching for her, once she was gone there would be nothing to find.

She didn't understand the depth of my love for her.

"You make it sound so easy," I said, She couldn't understand.

"It should be. I'm not really that interesting."

She was so stubborn…still, after all this time, unable to accept how desirable she was to everyone, but so much more to me. How that desire had absolutely nothing to do with how she smelled or tasted like it should.

"Moot point." I would discuss this no further. I would not ruin her day with an argument.

I heard Charlie's thoughts as he was on his way home, I gently shifted Bella, so we made no contact. Bella was so used to this, she didn't need an explanation she knew.

"Charlie?" she asked, and I smiled, glad for the change in topic.

She grabbed my hand as Charlie entered the house.

_Ugh. The _boy's _here again. And their holding hands. I think I just might vomit...or better yet, kick him out. _Charlie wasn't all that pleased to see me, but he hid it well enough for Bella's sake.

After dining, and after saving Bella's camera from a disastrous rendezvous with the floor, she and I left for my house and the promised birthday celebration. I drove this time, without any argument from Bella, thankfully.

We drove slowly toward my house, in the twilight. At speeds that irritated me, but I didn't let on. I finally got annoyed and pressed the gas a little more firmly.

"Take it easy," Bella said. She was so protective of this piece of junk. I couldn't stop myself.

"You know what you would love? A nice little Audi coupe. Very quiet, lots of power…"

"There's nothing wrong with my truck." She said, jutting her chin in my direction. I smiled, like a puppy that tried to be a guard dog, she tried to be tough.

"And speaking of expensive nonessentials, if you know what's good for you, you didn't spend any money on my birthday presents."

As much as I'd wanted to buy her something big, like the Audi, I had granted her wish and resisted that temptation. "Not a dime," I said proudly.

"Good."

I rolled my eyes as I turned onto the driveway. I wondered how easy this would be, would she let us celebrate her birthday.

"Can you do me a favor?"

"That depends on what it is," she said questionably

I turned toward her, hoping she wouldn't fight me to much.

"Bella, the last real birthday any of us had was Emmett in 1935. Cut us a little slack, and don't be too difficult tonight. They're all very excited." Well, nearly all…

Bella's expression relaxed into surprise. What did she expect?

"fine, I'll behave"

"I should probably warn you…" I said softly

"Please do."

"When I say they're all excited. I do mean all of them."

In this instance, Bella's reaction was exactly as I expected. Her face contorted with fear as she spoke. "Everyone?" Her voice broke on the word, and it was clear that she was thinking about facing Rose

"Emmett wanted to be here."

"But… Rosalie?"

"I know, Bella. Don't worry, she'll be on her best behavior." if she hadn't she would surely regret it. I threatened in my head.

My family heard us coming.

Alice showed me her latest vision of me walking Bella willingly and with out force into the house. How we got from here to here I didn't know.

"So, if you won't let me get you the Audi, isn't there anything that you'd like for your birthday?" As soon as the question left my lips, I regretted it. Always the argument at hand. I couldn't avoid it, I always slipped somehow or another.

"You know what I want," she replied quietly, and her words were like a knife in my heart.

Her birthday was the point that she over took me, she become older. Marking the count down of time for her, close rand closer till she had none. And ceasing of time for me.

All summer that's all she asked, begged form pleading and demanding that I do to her what had been don't to us. Take her soul, make her immortal, a vampire. Her response was simple, she wanted to be with me forever, a human life just wasn't long enough for her. She ignored all the horrible aspects of my existence. She wouldn't hear it. The ravaging thirst, the boredom, stuck in the same place, the same age forever, and lets not mention eternal damnation. Hell she wanted it. It was like a picnic for her. She isnsted that our love would make up for all of it. The pain she would feel at first, she would over come it, to be with me.

She didn't belong in hell, and I wasn't about to send her there.

There was no reasoning with her though. And I was so fed up and tired with this argument.

"Not tonight, Bella. Please."

"Well, maybe Alice will give me what I want," she said smugly.

Her words hit me like daggers. An angry growl escaped me. Alice would never consider it. Would she? I would have a talk with Alice about the issue at hand, and Carlisle as well. If anyone would have a soft spot and see Bella's reasoning it would be them.

"This isn't going to be your last birthday, Bella."

"That's not fair!" she sounded childish.

My teeth slammed together, preventing an equally childish retort.

I tried to think of other things for a second, calm my frustration.

As we approached the house, I focused on the others' thoughts as they waited for us to arrive.

My family was happy, all of them except Rose. That just added to my frustration. She could be so irritating with her hatred for Bella. The only reason she was even here was because of Emmett. She thought the whole thing was stupid.

Jasper however fought with the conflict of emotion that was coming from everyone. Wishing just like every other day that he did not have that ability. Wishing to be rid of the gift, that was his daily curse.

"Nooooo," Bella moaned when she saw the over-decorated steps.

Alice had gone too far, as usual, and now Bella was even more upset.

I wanted to calm her down. My only hope of getting her into the house would be to dazzle her as she so flatly put it. I loved it.

I took a deep breath, preparing myself to sway her.

"This is a party. Try to be a good sport," I said.

"Sure," she mumbled, and I sped around to her side of the truck and opened her door.

As she took my hand, the familiar crease appeared between her eyebrows. "I have a question," she said.

I braced myself for her inquisition, but said nothing.

"If I develop this film, will you show up in the picture?"

I was surprised. As usual Bella came up with something completely unexpected.

It was a stupid myth. If she hasn't realized by now that all myths were just that, myths. I didn't know what would convince her.

To think I would be invisible on film or mirror was just hilarious. I burst out laughing. I had a rather difficult time trying to control my chuckles.

I heard low laughs coming from in the house in response to Bella's question. I see they found it as amusing as I did. Even Rosalie laughed along.

I had calmed myself and then walked Bella up the steps and through the door where she was greeted by a loud "Happy Birthday!"

I kissed the top of her head I added my own silent wish. _Happy birthday, Bella, my love. May you have many more._ I could only hope.

Bella's scent whooshed through the room as I shut the door, I caught the thoughts of everyone.

I immediately looked to Jasper. He held the banister tightly I was surprised it didn't splinter in his hands. He didn't just have his thirst he had the thirst of six other vampires in the room. They all felt the scorching thirst burn their throats in reaction to Bella's scent but they all held their control. My eyes still didn't leave Jasper. He was the newest of the family to the vegetarian world. He looked over to me, and shook his head.

_I'm fine, I don't spend much time around her so I'm not used to it yet. I'm fine __Edward, really._ I could tell he was annoyed when he caught looks from the rest of the family.

His eyes opened wider, showing us that his amber eyes held no sign of thirst.

I was still worried.

I heard Alice tell me to give him a break, she reassured me that it would be fine.

_Yeah, for now._ I thought.

She showed me the laughs and fun it would be when Bella opened her gifts.

My mother Esme walked up to us, wrapped her arms around Bella, and kissed her head, as if she was one of her own.

"Sorry about this," Carlisle whispered loudly to Bella. Touching Bella was not nearly the challenge for Carlisle that it had been for Esme, and he squeezed her shoulders affectionately. "We couldn't rein in Alice."

Rosalie and Emmett stepped up next, and my sister managed to keep her expression casual. Emmett, however, was beaming.

"You haven't changed at all," he teased. "I expected a perceptible difference, but here you are, red-faced just like always."

She hadn't grown, but had become more confident around my family, standing taller before my mountain of a brother. He towered over her, resisting the urge to pat her on the head like a pet.

Bella blushed "Thanks a lot, Emmett."

He laughed, "I have to step out for a second. Don't do anything funny while I'm gone." He chuckled silently as he exited out the front door.

"I'll try," Bella said, rolling her eyes.

She glanced across the room at Jasper. When he didn't follow Alice to her side, she smiled at him carefully.

"Time to open presents," Alice announced, leading Bella to a long table set up next to my piano. An huge, pink-frosted cake was in the center of the table. It was entirely too much for the only person who was going to be eating it. It was decorated just like the room, pink sheets, and pink roses all over.

"Alice, I know I told you I didn't want anything", Bella grumbled.

"But I didn't listen," Alice interrupted, glowing as she too saw the tiniest glint of excitement in Bella's eyes. "Open it." She handed Bella the present.

She took the box gently and carefully. A normal person would have snatched it up and ripped the paper off quickly to discover the present. She however was all too careful and slow.

She finally got it open and realized the box was empty. I held back a smile.

"Um… thanks?" Bella said, not as a statement but as a question.

Jasper laughed the loudest, covering my chuckle. "It's a stereo for your truck. Emmett's installing it right now so that you can't return it."

Bella sighed at Alice, but then smiled warmly. "Thanks, Jasper, Rosalie," then looked at me. She pursed her lips, still smiling slightly, easily conveying her recognition of my insulting her truck earlier. She didn't look mad or upset. She looked almost happy. I smiled back at her.

"Thanks, Emmett," Bella called slightly louder, his booming laughter could be heard even by Bella in the living room.

_She truly is wonderful, Edward,_ Carlisle thought, recognizing that Bella had already accepted that Emmett could hear her without her yelling.

"Open mine and Edward's next," Alice nearly squeaked. I tried to see the image of her opening her present to see her reaction. But it wasn't there, it was clouded.

She turned to glare at me with a hard look on her face. "You promised," she said darkly.

"Just in time!" he bellowed. I hoped that would be the end of it, but she was stubborn, and still held a hard glare at me.

Jasper seemed really amused by Bella having the nerve to look daggers at me like that. He was even more humored by the anxiety I felt when she did. _A human glaring at a vampire, and the vampire actually feels worried by it-that'll never get old. _He thought.

"I didn't spend a dime," I swore, raising my hand. She'd been fine with the radio—was it only presents from me that disturbed her?

A lock of hair strayed across Bella's face, ever so slightly hiding her eyes from me, and I reached out and tucked it behind her ear gently. Bella's heart skipped a beat, as it always did. I noticed Esme look at Carlisle.

_He's so gentle with her… it's lovely, Edward. _Esme thoughts were of pure joy. M_y oldest, or youngest, depending on how you look at it, son has finally found someone to love. _I knew Esme would probably be crying if she could. Carlisle was that far behind hr either.

Bella took a deep breath. "Give it to me,"

She forcefully put her finger under the wrapping paper and when she went to rip it, she sliced her finger with the edge of the paper.

I was horrified as a single drop of her blood appeared on her finger.

After that time seemed to stand still crawl ever so slightly forward. Just the sight of it caused the wrong monster to roar in me.

"Shoot," Bella said her voice broke me out of my fantasy.

I stopped breathing to help keep hold on my self-control. The thoughts all around the room were overwhelming. They all tried to keep their composure, keep their instincts from taking over. Their thirst was nothing near how strong mine was, but I couldn't hurt her, I wouldn't hurt her.

And then my worse fears started coming true. I saw what Alice did, Jasper diving for Bella, my Bella. And then his mouth met her throat. In the next second out of the vision and back into reality Jasper crouched, ready to pounce on his prey. I reacted purely out of instinct.

With my last breath of air I held in my lungs I shouted a resounding "NO!"

I moved too quickly for even Jasper to realize what I was doing. I knew he would be fast, so my only option was to shove Bella out of the way and take the blow.

I became a wall between her and Jasper.

His body crashed into mine, his mind was completely filled with bloodlust, without a leash to restrain it. It was hell restraining him. But with my burning desire to keep Bella alive, equal to his desire to drain her, I held him at bay.

_Get out of my way._ His mind growled at me.

His entire being was no longer controlled by his mind, but by the scent of human blood in the air. He was not the Jasper we all knew, he was a ravenous blood-thirsty vampire.

He struggled against me, trying to break free. I saw the heap that was Bella through his eyes. She was lying in a pile of shattered glass, covered with blood, and had shards of glass sticking out of her injured arm. Because I saw it all through his eyes, I also felt the need to grab her and drain her that he was feeling. Jasper could almost taste the blood in the air and was dead set on _really_ tasting it.

I tried to hold back a growl, but it escaped me anyway. The monster not only was thirsty, but possessive. She was mine.

A deep, animalistic snarl ripped out of his chest, his teeth flashing while he repeatedly tried to push past me toward her.

He couldn't control his thoughts, they were a shamble of incoherent snarls and growls, he was only the bloodlust now. He was frenzied by the scent; his eyes and his thoughts past reasoning.

I saw my chance to save Bella, attack his throat, and end the threat.

_EDWARD NOOOO!_ I heard Alice screaming in her thoughts.

I saw Emmett out of the corner of my eye, he was coming closer to us. I angled Jasper in front of Emmett trying to keep all the monsters at bay. I searched for signs of more attackers but every other mind in the room was frozen in complete terror and shock.

Emmett grabbed Jasper, pulling him free of my hold and holding him himself.

Then I felt it. The smell of Bella's blood overwhelmed me, sending me into a hazy cloud of thirst and need. I spun around to see Bella lying helplessly in a pool of her own blood; jagged pieces of crystal covered the floor.

I not only battled Jasper's thirst now but I also battled my own. The venom poured in my mouth as I fought the urge to turn on her myself.

I saw Bella through Alice's view. And then I had realized why she lay crumpled on the floor bleeding in a pile of glass. It was not because of Jasper. It was because I had carelessly thrown her into the table. The table that had a stack of glass plates piled on it.

_Dear God, what have I done?_

_**A/N:**_** Just so you don't expect it, I'll tell you now that I won't be writing Twilight from Edward's POV. There are just too many good ones out there already. Because I'm not a hater and like to give credit to my fellow writers where it's due, I'll recommend that anyone wishing to read a ****_really _good continuation of Midnight Sun go to BronzeHyperion's page. SM fans don't get offended when I say this but I doubt Mrs. Meyer herself would have done a better job on the rest of MS. I still think Stephenie Meyer is a total genius but BronzeHyperion really did her thing with Midnight Sun.**

**P.S. I usually post chapters faster if I get a lot of reviews. *hint hint***


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